


Colourless Pain

by ShionsTear



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 02:49:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10710615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShionsTear/pseuds/ShionsTear
Summary: "When you come to hate something you liked, it is incredibly painful." - Ryouta Kise is an artist in High School and his one and only muse is his boyfriend Tetsuya Kuroko, who loves all of Kise's paintings. But what'll happen after that one stroke of fate that hits both of them out of nowhere? Will they go on like before? - A little short story in two parts.





	1. First half

"Kise-kun, are you still not finished?"

"Kurokocchi, stop moving."

"K-Kise-kun, I can't hold it anymore…"

"Only a little longer, I… almoooost…"

"I'm sorry, Kise-kun, I… can't…" was the last thing he said before he dropped the apple he was holding skywards with his right hand.

"Awww, Kurokocchi, I was so close to finish the drawing." I said disappointed.

"I'm sorry, but I told you to, I have weak arms, you should've asked Kagami-kun instead." he replied.

"But, you know you are my only muse, Kurokocchi. I didn't expect you to be _that_ weak thou-ouch." before I could end my sentence Kurokocchi flicked me on my forehead.

"I warned you." he said monotonously. I only started pouting silently, he didn't need to flick me. But as soon as he noticed my behaviour, he sighed and kissed me on the spot where he had flicked me before. I couldn't help but start giggling, and he started laughing as well. And that's why I love him.

My name's Ryouta Kise and I'm a third year in Seikai High School and lucky me, my lovely boyfriend Kurokocchi is in the same class as me.

As long as I can think back I loved drawing and painting, that's one of the reasons I entered the art club in High School and spend almost every free minute painting, and Kurokocchi is my one and only muse, my inspiration; that's why I love painting him, although he himself doesn't like to sit still for too long, so sometimes it doesn't work.

"Anyway, how much time do I still need to keep doing this?" he asked after a while.

"Well now that you moved it doesn't matter anymore, you won't be able to pose exactly like you did before, so I guess I'm finished. Kind of." I said finally.

"Kise-kun, you know I love your paintings, but you do know as well that I don't like being the subject of your pictures."

"But I want the whole world to know how beautiful you are, Kurokocchi. I want everyone to see who you are and to know how lucky I am for having you!" I said smiling while looking at him. He blushed.

"K-Kise-kun, why are you so…" he stopped talking.

"Yeeeees?" I stared at him on tiptoe.

"Nothing." he giggled and flicked my forehead once again.

"Kurokocchiiiii…"

"Let's go home, Kise-kun." he said as he took my hand and we started walking home.

The next day passed by like any other day. After we had morning classes, we went upstairs to the rooftop garden to eat our lunch. At first it was prohibited for students to go up there, but after some discussions from the student council with the director, the prohibition was lifted and everyone was allowed to go up there. All thanks to our student council president Akashicchi. Now Kurokocchi, me and our friends always ate up there.

"Takao! Give me back my calculator. The calculator is, in fact, today's lucky item." Midorimacchi said angrily.

"You're all so bothersome, Muro-chin, why are we eating here again?" Murasakibaracchi didn't look like he wanted to be here.

"Oi, Aomine! Did you just steal meat from my lunch box?!"

"You're too slow, Kagami!" Aominecchi and Kagamicchi were having a lover's quarrel as always.

"Ahhh, just a day like any other day!" I said as I started laughing. Then I sat down next to them and started eating as well.

"Ohh, Tetsu! Your lunch looks good, gimme a bite."

"Sorry, won't do, Aomine-kun." Kurokocchi refused to let anyone steal from his lunch. But we were already used to how things went by with the nine of us, it was nothing special and so we continued our lunch break. And classes were finished for the day it was time for club activities.

"Kurokocchi, do you have time to come to the art club room now? I finished a painting the other way and I wanted to show it to you! You haven't seen it yet, I kept it a secret from you! Hehe." I said with a grin. It was supposed to be a present for him.

"I'm sorry Kise-kun, today I have to attend an important meeting of my literature club and I don't know how long it'll take. So…"

"Aawww, but I wanted to show you the painting today!"

"Next time, okay? It's not like it'll run away, right?" he smiled at me.

"I… I can send you picture of it too!"

"No, that won't do. I love your paintings, I want to see it with my own two eyes, okay?" he said as he gave me a kiss.

"O-okay. Then… then at least I'll wait until you're done and-"

"You don't have to, I appreciate the thought, but you'll better go home, okay? See you tomorrow, Kise-kun."

"Okay, bye bye Kurokocchi." I said and kissed him one last time before I turned back and started walking away. I still decided to go to the art club room, just to check if everything was fine.

The painting I wanted to show him was one I made for our anniversary. It was a painting of us, it took me quite some time, but I was proud I finished it and I couldn't wait to show him and to see his reactions. But that had to wait now. After locking the doors I went straight home. When I arrived home I fell asleep after a short time, the past days had been very stressful and I didn't get much sleep.

When I woke up the next morning and looked at the clock, I noticed that I was almost late for school. I didn't know how I managed to oversleep while going to bed a few hours earlier than normally, but I somehow did. I grabbed the things I needed for school and rushed out of my house. When I was already running to catch the bus I noticed that I had forgotten my phone at home, but I couldn't go back now. I said to myself that I'd survive one day without my phone and continued running.

"I'm not late!" I screamed as I opened the door to our classroom and everyone turned to the door and stared at me. I wasn't late, but I was the last one to arrive and now had everyone's attention.

"Yo, Kise. Made it on time!" Aominecchi said. I was completely out of breath when I fell down on my chair.

"You okay?" he asked me from his desk behind of mine.

"Y-yeah.. I… only…" I was so out of breath that I couldn't speak properly, I was panting.

"You're out of breath?"

"N-no… well… yeah… b-but…"

"But what?"

"N-nothing…" I gave up, trying to explain it to him would've been be too exhausting. And then I noticed, Kurokocchi wasn't sitting in front of me. Where was he?

"Aominecchi, where is Kurokocchi?" I asked him.

"Huh? What are you? Stupid? Already forgotten the text he sent us earlier?"

"Wh-what tex… I… I forgot my phone at home, so I don't know."

"Oh, I see. You're really dumb, aren't you Kise?!"

"Where is Kurokocchi?!"

"Well according to his text he got caught up in a little accident or something, nothing big he said. But he's in the hospital now and can't come to school today, so we-" but before he could finish what he wanted to say I jumped up from my chair and dashed out of the classroom. I almost bumped into a teacher but I didn't care about that at the moment, my mind was still in shock about what Aominecchi said.

An accident?! When?! How?! Dozens of questions were floating around in my head and all I could think of was Kurokocchi and hoping he was okay. I was running straight to the hospital, I didn't care about missing class or anything else, I just wanted to see him, and nothing else mattered at that moment.

When I arrived at the hospital, I asked for help, told them who I was and if I could go and see Kurokocchi. After some minutes of waiting, a doctor appeared and told me to accompany him. I was nervous and happy at the same time; being able to see him meant that his condition couldn't be that bad.

We were standing in front of the room's door in which Kurokocchi was lying in. The doctor knocked at the door and opened it slightly.

"Kuroko-san, may I come in? You have a guest." he said.

"Alright." I heard Kurokocchi's voice from inside of the room. He was okay, I was relieved. The doctor opened the door and we both entered the room. I closed the door behind of me before continuing into the room and then I saw him. Kurokocchi was sitting on a bed. I was happy to see him again and looked him in the eyes, and it seemed as if he was looking into mine. I was about to say something, but Kurokocchi was faster. And I'll never forget those words he uttered that instant.

"Who is it?"


	2. Second half

"H-huh? Wh-what do you mean 'who is it?'. Don't you recognize me?" I asked him in a shock, I was about to cry. I couldn't believe what he had just said.

"Oh, it's Kise-kun. I… I didn't want to… Haven't you received my text?" he said.

"No, I mean. I probably did, but I haven't looked at my phone since last night. Why…" I wanted to ask him why, but at the same I didn't know what exactly I wanted to ask him. He was avoiding my gaze.

"Kise-kun, I… I cannot see you… anymore…" he said finally.

"Wh-what? Why?!" I felt like my heart was about to break into pieces, but then he started speaking again.

"I just… can't…" he was looking down, his voice seemed to be empty, without any emotions.

"Why?! Tell me why! Don't you wanna see me anymore, Kurokocchi?!" I was about to cry.

"No! I just… simply… I… _cannot_ see you… see you or anyone… or anything else, Kise-kun…" was what he said before he started crying.

"I think I should clarify this. Kise-san…" the doctor turned to me.

"Y-yes?"

"Kuroko-san… he has lost his eyesight, there wasn't anything that could've been done to save it; it was already too late. I'm sorry." he finished talking and bowed down to me as if he wanted to apologise.

It took me some moments until I understood what I had been told.

But after I realized it, I looked back at Kurokocchi who was still crying; his face buried in his hands as to not wanting to show anyone. I slowly started walking towards the bed he was sitting in and sat down next to him. Tears were already dropping down my cheeks. As if the doctor noticed he'd be a bother, he slowly left the room without saying anything, only leaving Kurokocchi and me behind. And then Kurokocchi wanted to say something.

"I… Kise-kun… I'm…" he was trying to fight against the tears and wanted to say something, but his crying seemed to be stronger and didn't let him speak up clearly.

"Kurokocchi, I…" I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what.

"K-kise-kun… I'm… I'm s-sorry…"

"H-huh?" I was confused, I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me.

"I… I promised you to look at your painting… and… and now, I-I'll n-never… be able to look at any paintings you make a-and…" he started crying even more than before.

"Kurokocchi you idiot!" I said to him and hugged him with all my might while I was crying as much as he was.

"K-Kise-kun?"

"Don't say stupid things like that, don't apologize for things like that. You don't have to worry about anything. I'll be there for you as long as it takes, as long as I live. I'll help you through everything, you're my one and only Kurokocchi and I'll never leave you alone, I'll protect you. We'll manage somehow, so don't worry!" I said the only thing I could think of: the truth.

And just like that we kept on hugging each other and crying for some time…

Some months had passed since the incident with Kurokocchi. More or less everything had returned to how it was before. Truth be said, Kurokocchi had a hard time dealing with his new handicap, but he managed; _we_ managed to go through it together. There were a lot of things he couldn't do anymore, there were a lot of things he had to learn anew, lot of things he had to do differently than before. But there were also new things he couldn't do before, or rather, that he couldn't do completely or to a full extent. Nonetheless there were a lot of things that didn't change at all. Our friends were still our friends, not treating me nor Kurokocchi any different than they did before. We kept on eating lunch together and we kept on laughing together; that was the same as ever. And I too kept on painting like I used to, but ironically that was one of the toughest changes in itself.

I always had painted for Kurokocchi's sake, but now that he couldn't look at my paintings anymore, something was missing. An essential part of _why_ I painted wasn't there anymore. He didn't come to the art club room since then, he didn't want me to tell him what I was working on, he closed himself off completely in that regard.

"Kise-kun, when you come to hate something you liked, it is incredibly painful." he told me with a bittersweet smile on his face while seemingly looking me into the eyes. That was his answer when I had asked him why he wouldn't come to the art club room anymore. And I did understand what he meant. I could imagine how it must've felt to not be able to do something you once loved so dearly. And that's exactly what happened to Kurokocchi. Losing his eyesight meant not being able to look at the paintings he liked so much. It made me feel powerless and helpless. I couldn't do anything to help him.

One day Kurokocchi had to go to the hospital for a check-up regarding his eyes and thus couldn't eat lunch with the rest of us.

"Huuuuuuhhhh…" I sighed loudly.

"Myou 'kay, Kishe?" Aominecchi asked me while rice fell off from his mouth. He had the bad habit of talking with his mouth full of food whenever possible.

"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't spit your lunch into my face like it were some Olympic sports." I said.

"He's right, Ahomine." Kagamicchi said.

"Oi, no one asked you, Bakagami." Aominecchi replied and I sighed again.

"Those are some pretty serious sighs, something's wrong?" Takaocchi asked me. Despite his rather humorous personality he often was the most serious one.

"It's, in fact, about Kuroko, right?" Midorimacchi nailed it.

"…yes."

"What's wrong?" Kagamicchi asked.

"I just don't know what I should do. It's like I make him sad if I continue painting, but I don't want that." I explained.

"Then how about showing him one of your paintings, Kise." Takaocchi continued.

"Takao, Kuroko's blind, how, in fact, should he do that? Are you stupid?" Midorimacchi had a point.

"You don't understand Shin-chan. Kuroko may have lost his ability to see, but… Don't they say your other senses grow more sensitive when you lose one? Wouldn't that mean his other senses are better than ever now? I don't know about the sense of smell and sense of taste, but I'm pretty sure we can do something about the sense of touch and sense of hearing. How about it?" he stopped telling us his idea and was waiting for an answer.

"I… I'm not sure I follow you." I said confused.

"Don't worry about the hearing, I'll call Himuro and we'll arrange something. Did you think I became the president of our school's music club and leader of the band out of pure luck? Haha, I'll show you what I can do!" was the last thing he said before he stood up, grabbed me by my arm and started running, pulling me along.

Soon I understood what he had planned and after a week it was done and I wanted to let Kurokocchi know about it.

"Say Kurokocchi?"

"Yes Kise-kun?" even though he couldn't read with his eyes anymore, he was still reading books, they just had to be written in Braille. I was always thankful that the other members of the literature club didn't abandon him, I thought that would've been too much for him.

"Would you come to the art club room after school today? I need to sho… I need to let you know something." I always tried not to use the wrong words, even though I knew that was ridiculous, but I just couldn't help.

"Kise-kun, you know, I…" he wanted to refuse already, but I didn't intend to give in.

"Please! It's really important for me! Only this once, would you do it for me, Kurokocchi?" I asked him as I took his hands into mine. He stopped looking at the book he was reading and turned towards me.

"Kise-kun, your face…" he said while stretching out his arm. He always said that when he wanted to touch my face, his new way of 'looking into my eyes'. So I moved my head into his direction and helped him put his left hand on my face.

"You're smiling." he said when he touched my cheek, and I was indeed.

"Okay then, I'll come." he said finally.

"Really? Thank you!" I said happily.

"But I have club activities today, so I'll go afterwards, okay?"

"That's okay! Should I wait for you and pick you u-"

"Not necessary, Kise-kun. I'd find the way to you even with closed eyes, hehe." he smiled kindly and kissed me on my cheek.

"Kurokocchiiiii…"

"Until then." and we parted ways.

Only a few hours later I was waiting in the art club room for Kurokocchi to arrive there. Everything was ready. And then out of nowhere the door opened.

"Are you here, Kise-kun?" he asked into the room.

"I'm here Kurokocchi!" I tried to speak loud so he could sense where I was standing. It seemed to work; he smiled and started walking into my direction, always using his blindman's stick to look out for obstacles in his way.

"I'm here, Kise-kun. So, what is it?" he was standing right next to me.

"Give me this, sit down and just listen." I said to him while I pushed a button on the remote control of the radio and music started playing.

"Oh…" he noticed the music and closed his eyes. I didn't say anything, I just wanted him to listen to it. After a while he started talking again.

"Kise-kun, what is this?"

"It's a song Takaocchi and the others from his band made, they wanted to make a song that would fit this painting." I said.

"Wh-what painting?"

"This one…" I took the painting and handed it to him.

"Kise-kun, I cannot…"

"You don't have to. _Touch it._ "

"Touch?" he seemed confused but he did as I said and as soon as his hands touched the canvas his eyes widened.

"This is a painting I made with different kinds of colours. I tried to apply each colour differently on the canvas so that it would turn out to have different patterns for different sections of the painting. The result isn't a painting to look at but a painting to feel with one's own two hands. It's a painting for you to look at it in your own way."

"K-Kise-kun…" a small tear formed in Kurokocchi's left eye.

"Do you like it?" I asked him.

"I do, Kise-kun. And… if I'm not mistaken…" he was still feeling the surface of the painting.

"Yes?"

"If I'm not mistaken, you painted a person?"

"Right. I painted you again."

"But…"

"Even though you cannot see it, I still wanted you to know that you're the most beautiful person for me, and I don't want you to forget it. So I showed it to you one more time, with this painting. Aaaand…" I took a little box out of my pocket and out of it two rings. The music was still playing in the background.

"Gimme your hand, Kurokocchi." I said to him; he had started to cry by then, but he looked happy.

"K-Kise-kun…"

"This ring is a symbol. It shows I'll be with you, forever. If you want it or not. So be sure to always wear it, I'll wear mine too, see?" I put the ring on his finger and pressed my hand into his so that he could feel the ring I was wearing.

"I…" he wanted to say something.

"But forgive me, the rings aren't _that_ pretty, I took cheap ones since you can't see anyways, hehe."

"Kise-kun."

"Yes?"

"Your face."

"Sure Kurok—ouch!" just as I was moving my head into his direction, he flicked my forehead.

"That was a joke Kurokocchiiii…"

"I know." he said as he started laughing while tears were flowing down his face.

"You…"

"Kise-kun, your face." he wanted to touch my face again, but I was slightly scared. I moved my head nonetheless and then he kissed me.

"I love you Kurokocchi, no matter what, don't forget that." I said while hugging him.

"I love you too, Kise-kun." he said with a happy voice.

We stayed like that for some time, the music was still playing and we didn't want to move or go away from our togetherness. But then Kurokocchi started talking again, still hugging me.

"Kise-kun, what's this painting's name?"

"Colourful happiness."


End file.
